Thursday, November 28, 2002

Another Short One

Me: Your total will be 8.30.
Chick: Ohmigod! That's like a time!

Saturday, November 23, 2002

Dumb Buttocks Children

So a little kid (well, probably about 10) comes in with mom. Right away mom is telling him he can't have a footlong sandwich, much to his bitching, so at least one hurdle is out of the way.

Me: What kind of bread do you want?
Kid: That one! (points)
Me: I can't see your hand or the bread. You're going to have to tell me the name.
Kid (reaching enough so I can see his hand): That one right there.
Me: I still can't see the bread. Since it doesn't have a label, that means it's either white or wheat. Which one?
Kid (pointing): This one.
Me: White or Wheat?
Kid: What?
Me: White or Wheat?
Kid: What?
Me: Wheat or White?
Kid: Wheat. Ok, maybe he didn't say "Wheat", but I swear to God that's what I heard -ed
Me (pulls out Wheat): So, what sort of cheese do you want?
Kid: Uh...
Me: American...Swiss...or Pepper Jack...
Kid: Swiss! ...hey, is that wheat bread?
Me (cursing God, draws forth white bread): OK, white bread, Swiss. What kind of sandwich do you want?
Kid: I don't know.

Lord do I not feel like finishing this one.

Learn What Your Damn Favorite Food is Called

It amazes me what we're expected to do sometimes at the Happy Sandwich. I've only been working here a couple weeks, and already I've noticed some trends amongst the customers.

Despite the fact that the powers that be put up a bread display so the employees wouldn't have to list the types off for every customer, it's now a common thing for a customer to think they can just point to one and get it. Despite the fact that it's at eye level and facing away from the clerks. You would have to be seven feet tall to see someone's pointing hand, but they still do it. What makes it worse is that all the types of bread besides "white" and "wheat" have labels on them. I don't know which is worse: not knowing what white bread looks like or not knowing how to read.

Similarly, asking anyone for their preference in chips is like a guessing game. Instead of actually saying what flavor they want, they will shout off some brand name and then features like color or position on the rack (which wouldn't be bad, except the latter is usually badly described and/or wrong). The worst part is that even if you try to get them to name specific parts of the labels, it may or may not work. Asking them if they want Baked Lays Original or Sour Cream still nets a response of "The green ones!" (both contain a healthy amount of green in their packaging, and in fact one customer brought back her Sour Cream and Onion after she asked for green ones wanting Original. Argh)

Short But Sweet

Me: Would you like American, Swiss, or Pepper Jack?
Girl: Cheddar.

Customer: What kind of bread is this?
Me: I can't tell from here. I think it might say on the little sign sticking out of it.

Me: Did you want a meal?
Customer: No. Oh, wait, I'd like (insert every component of a meal she didn't already have here)

Customer Woes

Me: Would you like anything else?
Customer: No.
Me: Your total is [foo]
Customer: Wait. I wanted a medium Dr. Pepper.
Me: OK. Anything else?
Him: Lays. NOTE: We carry no less than seven types of Lays. This is very frustrating. What's even more frustrating is that this guy's response is rather typical.
Me (resisiting the urge not to strangle): Which kind?
Him: Sour Cream and Onion.
Me: Regular or baked?
Him: Yes.
(praying for his death, I assume he meant "baked" and didn't hear the "regular" part of the sentence, which would have made his response understandable)
Him: No, I wanted the green ones.